I mostly patient and good-natured but every once in a while I get super frustrated.
When I hear people out of touch with reality claiming that someone should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps I feel a little stabby.
It’s been a long road back to a basic level of life, but as recently as five years ago I was well employed, insured, healthy, living in a reasonably safe apartment with access to a safe laundry facility, a parking spot where my car wouldn’t get stolen regularly and I was married to my very best friend.
I had several close friends in a group that I spent most of my time with and I was happy.
Then my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, rapidly declined, I had to quickly find another place to live so I could care for him. He was in the hospital for two months (I worked 30 hours a week remotely while taking care of him and was on FMLA at my job). But he was in hospice by November as there was nothing we could do to save him. My other best friend also died of congestive heart failure that December, then at Christmas my husband died.
I got off of FMLA after I managed to organize his funeral and medical logistics about a week later. I returned to work full time and shortly after, my former employer terminated me because they wanted my salary for marketing budget and left me with no income, costly COBRA insurance and to pick up the pieces all alone. (Yes I applied for unemployment but was denied for a full year until I appealed it with 2 judges – ridiculous.)
Due to various illnesses and other ill omened stars, I suppose, my other close friends also had passed away in the following months so I have had to rebuild my close friendships as well.
Now, thankfully, I still have a place to live but I’m feeling like I’m back at square one just out of college and some days it’s more frustrating than others. So if you say that someone is just too lazy or they have no drive, I want you to remember what happened to me over the course of a year which turned my life around completely without any recourse on my part.
I’m lucky enough to have some privilege but I can tell you right now it is hard for most people to deal with this kind of shit and our government is out of touch and lacking human decency saying some of the things that they have said.
You can’t always pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you are being kicked repeated while down. When the government abandons you because they want to give tax cuts to people who can afford to pay other people to do everything that’s just adding insult to injury and is in excusable.
Get it together America. We’re better than this.