Well, I set myself up for that… I got all smug about progress on WED and then effectively slept through THU.
I suppose the creeping crud from a low humidity situation let the gunk settle into my lungs and now I sound like a terminal TB patient and am low on oxygen. I’m not actually sick, but when your air systems are not at peak efficiency, it affects the overall system.
Whatever. I am an unemployed wastrel after all.
Got the Jelly Bean update for my Nexus 7 the other day. I tend to forgive the first day of nonsense due to all the app updates that eat up cycles and getting used to new things in the system, but this update is seriously icky. I’m very disappointed. Switching between apps is taking up to a minute and i’m finding that I just drop it on the cradle for charge and use either my phone or the iPad. That isn’t cool, I tend to spend a good chunk of my day on my Nexus 7. But not anymore, I have to set it down and wait for it to move to the next task… I’ll give it a few days to settle down and hope that the Android team pushes out a mini update.
I’ve googled some, but can’t find a good solution (I’m not going to root it or overclock it… I’m not in the mood to deal with hackage anymore thankyouverymuch.)
First world problems, I totally get that. But I shall be very put out if I become disenchanted with Leon.
I did manage to fix my Google G2 phone issue (its name is Roy Batty) with a new battery. Apparently after 2.5 years of incessant use the battery warps with the heat of use/recharge and bends away from the contacts causing the phone to reboot. You can set the battery on a flat surface and touch the edge to watch it wobble on the table. Fun… and cheap. The battery was something like $7 with free shipping. Nice!
Birthday week is starting to fill up with activities with various and sundry folk. The whole month isn’t booked yet, but there is a long weekend trip planned and I’ve made room in my worldview for wee trips here and there locally.
I did manage to cook on MON (roasted a chicken, easy peasy) then made soup from the carcass and added an evil cornbread. Made it pretty spicy; I enjoy the look of “OMG this is good!” then “OMG ow! It hurts so good! Give me another slice! I’m a pain slut!” on people’s face. Also, sometimes I wonder if I am believing my own hype about my cooking (to be fair, it is pretty good, but I know people who are so. much. better. than I am. I’m not kidding myself that I am the be all, end all of trailer park cookery, but it is nice to see it validated occasionally by folks who I know to be food snobby :) )
I do miss cooking, but I’ve already discussed why I haven’t cooked much. Things remain unchanged.
I’ve been eating better though. For a while, all I wanted was Brussels sprouts and frozen lasagna. Then I went through the turkey sammich phase (much to the kittens’ delight) with the odd dinner out for variety. This was supplemented by a gift of food credit from my tribe from Jessie & Laurent that I am still feasting on lo these many months (thank you Tribe, I less than 3 you.) I don’t order every week, which is why it still has credit there, but I do get a bunch of stuff I like that freezes well and gnaw on that over time. Today I’m eating some ribs that I got in May I think… tasty! Also good that I am eating before 4pm. I had a serious blood sugar meltdown yesterday; sweats, nausea, dizzy… managed to counteract it well, but I don’t want to go there again. Ever since I went to more protein and limited even the complex carbs (my body doesn’t care, it just goes into SUGAR! mode no matter what) I haven’t had to worry about the insanity that I dealt with when I was little… or even through college. I forget sometimes. Its also harder now without the day job to remind me of normal food rhythms through the day since…well… there really isn’t a normal now.
I’m ok with that actually. Still enjoying the sabbatical.
Also part of the sabbatical is the continuation of anti-anxiety meds. I had asked Mikey to check in with me on Aug 1, 2013 (1 year after Tex’s exploratory surgery and the same day I started taking the meds) to see if I still needed them. Well, Mikey died last Dec, so he shirked his duty ( ;P I miss you to the moon, Mikey), but I pretty much had decided earlier this year (after getting laid off, losing Marsha, hearing that Tex’s mom had a stroke and died, getting through most of May, etc) that I was just going to keep on with things and check back in 2014. Make a note on your calendar. I’m happy with that decision. It is letting me rest… I needed it. Still do for the foreseeable future.
I’m doing ok really. Don’t pity me or anything. Most of my close friends are past the treating me with kid gloves stage since I am rolling with things. I miss Tex, but I talk to him all the time and I am able to talk about him without losing it pretty well.
I did kind of lose it when I saw a friend recently who went though an eerily similar process in May of this year. I hid until I got myself under control though and am ok-ish now.
I am not at all happy with my inability to drop all the emotion and get there to take care of what I could, but I have to admit that PTSD is a pretty insistent monkey to have on your back… and I didn’t want things to be about me, which they aren’t, when it was supposed to be about them.
Break through anxiety SUCKS. Gah.
It sounds all doom and gloom doesn’t it? It isn’t.
I’m hanging out with interesting, amusing and kind people, knitting, snorgling my kittens (Ottov2 seems to have calmed down even more recently, she’s playing A LOT and I’m really happy with the fact that she is happy), cleaning out, being able to walk again (not hike, but walk is good.) and other fun things. I’m able to roll with a lot of punches and get on with stuff in a reasonable manner.
I still haven’t redone my floors…
Deep breath, y’all. 2013 continues apace.