Tex got the best end of the bargain on the in-law situation out of our marriage.
My mom is awesome.
His mom is… well, she is the way she is for a reason, but still… I haven’t spoken to her since the day Tex died-nor has she made any effort to talk to me; and before Tex got sick she didn’t deign to talk to me for about 7 years.
I just ignored it and made sure he took care of her (read: I sent stuff home with him that she needed which I bought while shopping. I nagged him to do things for her bday, mother’s day, xmas etc.) and didn’t interact with her ever.
She made him crazy… she made lot of people crazy, actually.
I just didn’t engage.
When Tex died, I told my mom (who was dealing with a lot of the details that I couldn’t deal with because I just couldn’t talk about much) that Tex and I didn’t care about the funeral arrangements, but I’d kick in whatever I would have paid for his cremation to something else if she preferred. (Conversely, she also told Tex’s older brother that whatever I chose was fine.) But I knew it mattered to her so I let her do what she wanted.
My point is that, while we weren’t chummy by any stretch, I didn’t hate her.
So getting the news that she is in the hospital after a massive stroke, that the prognosis doesn’t seem great, by the way, is a depressing thing.
I’d be happy enough knowing that she was noisily tormenting the bejeezus out of her family on a regular basis rather than this. I don’t want to deal with her ever again, but I don’t wish her dead.
Such a fucked up situation all around. I sent Tex over to take care of her and I can hear him exasperatedly saying “Mama! Hush! Listen to me…”
I wish her peace and comfort. So mote it be.
EDIT: she passed away this evening.