Went shopping (dialed it back a lot) and only got things I know I will wear for years.
I looked at the stuff I got today and it is all beach stuff. Faded t-shirts, softened by years in the wash and sun (simulated, natch), faded Chucks with stars on them, some undies (ok these won’t last years and years but I don’t kill things too much, so new undies is never a bad thing) and an orange sweatshirt for those cold beach nights.
No, I don’t plan to be on the beach anytime soon, but it seems my brain is currently living there without me knowing it.
I’m focusing on, well, healing… or something akin to balance this week. Too much has just been lobbed at me in the past couple of weeks that any balance I managed to get in place since last xmas has wobbled some.
I’m strong, but sometimes it just takes me a bit to get back to a reasonable place. And I appreciate the hell out of my support system. I realize that they are there for a reason and i would do the same for them, but I still hate having to use them. It means that as a project manager of my own life I missed an edge case and my planning skills… lack.
Yes, I know I’m tough on myself, but I can also be a lazy blob so it somewhat evens out. I really, really try not to let my life affect others though. If I pay for stupidity, well, it was my own damn fault for being an idiot. If someone has to clean up my mess then I don’t get the luxury of being upset. I need to make it right. Soonest.
Anyhoo, I just need to trudge on. I shall.
I ever do.
I think what I need is Trish and Susan in a car with me driving around playing obnoxious songs at full volume while we snark and sing along, with occasional stops at McD’s for Diet Coke (and depending on my mood; the trifecta of chemical love known as "Diet Coke, french fries and chocolate chip cookies.)
So mote it be.