You already know that Bunny is still moving smartly along. (There are a few new issues, but frankly, I think they are old cat issue but I’ll fax my very patient vet anyway and spare all of us a stressful rush visit where he skritches her head and pronounces her very old and very pretty.) But are you wondering about me?
I suppose some people are.
Last year was the year of preparing myself for the inevitable. I hunkered down and told myself that she’s here now and be happy that you have her here still, but the crazed part of my brain (you know, most of it.) would wig out at the impending gut-wrenching loss and loneliness that I was going to feel when she left. By all accounts, last year was a little strained, but Bunny really had no major issues until the end of the year when her ear (and I think the root cause of that was her teeth) started giving her problems.
This year, I told myself to knock it off and get on with things. Unfortunately, Bunny seems to be showing her age finally even though her renal numbers and blood count are all holding steady. The teeth thing are starting to sort themselves out and she eats well, moves around and is somewhat snuggly again. However, she still is pretty quiet and her back legs and hips are starting to be a little weak. There are associated unpleasantnesses along with this, and I don’t mind, I just do more laundry and rearrange the furniture to accommodate her. But she isn’t amused by it and it distresses her a bit which kills me.
So, I’m not really enthusiastic about this…and a little afraid.
But that is all I am going to say about this because I don’t function when talking about that stuff. (You can label me with things out of the DSM-IV all you want, but I won’t ever be able to cope with talking about it.)
Had to take a break there.
I think my career wheel is about ready to make another rotation and I find myself thinking “What to do next?”
*warning* the next couple of paragraphs are a trainwreck of thought….
I read somewhere that the eastern languages, such as Chinese and Japanese and others built on components put together to build strings of meaning-Lego languages(!), create brains that are predisposed (allegedly) to handle code and maths well. This is interesting to me (languages in general are – in fact, my “Win the Lotto” thing to do would be go play in a linguistics program somewhere.) It reminds me that when I am speaking in French, some of the concepts behind what I am saying prompt me to think differently. So when I have to translate an idiom (like something food based or created out of historical import) I groc the whole reason why they approach a problem the way they do and it explains why they are nonplussed (or outraged) by a situation whereas an English speaker without that historical perspective might not be. Well, its not the best analogy, but I understand the whole “language as an underlying mechanism for thinking process.” argument.
The other thing that I think might get me is that, having started in QA, I tend to work a problem backwards. Testing software and reporting bugs you are only seeing the UI, the results and any variables you might have introduced using the software. This is where you get into tangles with developers and bug reporting as well as why it is so crucial to provide a really clear step-by-step reproduction of the crash. Its kind of a pain reproducing these sometimes as unconscious gestures/habits might be adding to the mess or the fact that you hit Ctrl(Cmd)-C vs using the menu system to copy could be tweaking something wonky in the code. Then the developer can start from the bottom and move up to where the the break occurred in the code. I’m starting to reverse this trend – more than start, the last 3 years have been HTML and CSS heavy so I think in the structure now… not quite Neo reading the matrix screen, but close.
Its all perspective and about being systematic… which can pretty much describe my entire existence during the last 2 years.
So, I am looking into lots of interesting things right now while maintaining Bunny and just thinking about this upcoming turn of the wheel.
I did get a yarn winder though, that was exciting! It helps with the knitting ceramic feeder that I got at xmoose.
Also, turned the heel successfully on my sock. (Knitters if you have problems with this process, just put on “What’s Up Doc?” then it should all work out for the best. That movie has mystical knitting properties, I tell you what…)
I seem also to be adding lime green kitchen utensils into the mix. KitchenAid red and lime green, its a helluva combo (I just tell myself it can be part of my tiny home kitchen-one of these with all my lime green utensils in it.)
Here are a couple of the limeys in question:
and I could only find the picture of this one in apricot but you can just pretend its green (though I think the orange is pretty and if I end up with some of the orange things I can just call it Shrek Kitchen. I already have the orange/green Shrek Gameboy, so its not like I don’t like those colors together.)
and I LOVE this (photo below) and want one for my tiny home so that I can chop up Bunny’s food and not have to worry about power:
Little things really, though that’s all I have time for of late… little things wedged into the few empty spaces and dreaming/scheming of how to work the next 10 years.
I’m fine, I suppose. The hard part will be here soon enough but I’ll deal with that when it comes.
Until then I’ll be in the laundry room… warshin’.