Before he cheats…

I’ve been auditioning karaoke contenders for Weetacon in January (I pooped out on singing this last time as I was just not singable) and one of the (quite possibly trite) choices for me is “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood.

Of the many criteria that the song has to meet some of them are:
– I have to like it
– I have to be able to hit all the notes (low and high)
– I have to KNOW the words inside and out

and this song, with a bit of practice, seems to be a good match.

But as I was listening to it and howling along in the kitchen to it for the 35 bazillionth time last night (you know my neighbors lurve me) I was thinking if the song actually would apply to me.

Well, not really… for several reasons. Primarily because if someone cheats on me (without a pre-agreed arrangement), they are out.
No arguments.
No wars.
Just gone.
Banished.
(and I know a kick ass banishing spell).
I don’t do the vengeance shite, cutting up a car is a waste and a waste of my time. They are just dead to me.

Then I went back and thought about the list of guys I’ve gone out with to see if any of that rang true with any of them (can you tell I overthink everything?) and didn’t get past my ex-husband for the laughing fit I had.
He wouldn’t have cheated because it would have involved him having to get his ass off the couch or out from in front of the computer, he would have had to bathe and it might have jeopardized his idiot meal ticket (me)… and while he was a lying sack of shit and a delusional asshole, he wasn’t stupid. He’s too fekkin’ lazy to cheat.

Heh.
Still makes me giggle.


(comments are good on this one too…
“I think my guy how I yous to go out with was cheeting on me so this song is perfik for me ”
Word.)

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One thought on “Before he cheats…

  1. clicked the link and got the comment that it was no longer available?? and really don’t get the last sentence [if that is what it is, grammar, spelling,… more like something i’ve written without looking at the screen, and then correcting my typing].
    ps thanks for the new post, heh mly

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