The ghosts are crawling on my skin.

Seems as good as any expression to describe my mood right now.
The line is from a David Gray song “The Other Side” and I’ve had it on repeat today (I have progressed from Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah”).

This morning I was stupid and giddy (possibly from lots more sleep than I am used to) and now, I’m getting flashes of places and people from the past. Not really anything in particular, just little remembrances of people who meant a lot to me, people I probably shouldn’t have dated, people I used to hang out with and places that I used to haunt that struck me.
Its not at all comfortable.
I know this feeling actually. It generally is the culmination of a recent obsession and the work up to a subconscious decision of some sort… actually more of a coming to terms with an opinion. But in my brain, its a percolation process by dredging up all sorts of experiences to shore up the arguments for or against said decision.
This may explain some of it: “This is such an interesting time to be a Leo. The planet of soul mates and dreams, illusions and mysterious connections, is currently in your House Of Others (and has been for some time and will be for some time to come). This can manifest in various ways. You could meet a very spiritually-minded person who takes you and your heart and/or mind to another level. Or you could meet someone who’s downright dubious and has nothing but his/her own interests at heart. Your job? Careful pre-selection of the people you’re spending time with. -Yahoo Leo 6/26/08”
But I’m also kind of wallowing in it as well. ;) So its not like I’m trying to escape it either.

Last night’s alfredo experiment went pretty well. SUPER easy, only took about 10 minutes to do the sauce. I used cheese tortellini and I didn’t end up putting asparagus in there, but I will next time… as well as some bacon or prosciutto.
Now I am looking for the next thing to cook. I kind of want to do a soup, but I know myself too well to think I’ll eat soup. Casseroles are so much more me.
Maybe something with a ham hock in it.
Yum… piggy.

Oh yeah, I mentioned rearranging my bedroom.
When I was exploring options for getting to work for less than $50 a day, moving to a different apartment was bandied around as a possibility. I was thinking of getting a studio apartment and either getting rid of a bunch of shite or putting some stuff in storage (the studio option was shot down because after looking at pricing, it wasn’t a far stretch (about $50) from what I am paying in rent for my 1 BR that I am in now. No cost savings there. So I gave up on that idea.
What did stick in my head was my plan to STOLMEN-ize my whole place. Just run the shelves all the way along one wall for closet/entertainment unit/camping stuff etc.
My bedroom is possibly the narrowest space I have ever lived in. It is about 3 feet wider than my queen bed and I have it a foot from one wall and 2 feet from the other. I did that so I could change the sheets with less trouble, but frankly its as much of a pain in the arse as anything else, so I figured I’d just add more STOLMEN to my existing setup and push the bed flush to the wall. It will still give me some room to walk around it and I’ll gain some leaning area on the bed…changing the sheet will never be easy, so whatever.
I think I want to just add two more poles, two shelves at the very top at the level I have these baskets now for deep storage and possibly a clothes rail on each. I wouldn’t necessarily hang hangers on them, but maybe a cool hanging light or one of those sweater shelves that go in your closet. I haven’t decided yet and I still need to move the bed against the wall to see just how much space I will actually have to work with.
My closet is doing better since I got rid of the pants rack that was just encouraging me to have too many pairs that didn’t fit and more to the point me just putting them on top of it (instead of on the bars as designed).
When I use the STOLMEN idea in a full room, I might use the pants rack for large swaths of fabric (tablecloths, quilts, duvet covers, etc.) I know I’ll love having the fabrics out. But, I really don’t think I’ll have the room in a configuration that would allow for that.
I also kinda dig the new TV mount, but I don’t have a TV and it kinda goes against my rule of no TV or computers (permanently) in the bedroom. We’ll see what happens. It is my own damn apartment and since I don’t have roomies/husbands to contend with, might not be an issue anymore.
Frankly, this will be a return to a room I had in college where 2 of the walls had freestanding shelves for my TV, stereo, one was my day bed and one was the closet and door with another set of shelves angled in a corner with my mini-fridge at the bottom… that way my 3 other roomies wouldn’t drink all my milk and eat my food. Worked well (though I used the microwave in the kitchen) and I almost never left my room.
Maybe the physical workout of cleaning and rearranging will clear my head…and love’s a raven when it flies.


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